when you put an outfit on that looks decent but 2.5 seconds later it looks like shit
if you scream at 19yr old retail workers who are trying their hardest till they cry i hope you fucking burn in the deepest level of hell
this really cute customer came in today and i asked him how he was paying and he said ‘hasta la visa baby’ and then he blushed and cleared his throat and was like ‘um.. visa please’ and i kinda wanna marry him
our next 44 presidents should be women
Your next 44 presidents should be people who can responsibly lead your country with minimal fuck ups regardless of gender
Damn son amen
yo how much dirt you gotta throw in the ocean to make a new country
Student: can I please use the bathroom?
Teachers: why are you taking your bag?
This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.
my little sister officially turned 10 yesterday and because i’m in another state i couldn’t see her so i called instead to sing happy birthday and when i was done she whispered “gay” and hung up on me
is that the same sister who put her burned hand on your heart because ‘it was so nice and cold’
that would be the sister